'Ernie's Advice' to premiere in July

My short play "Ernie's Advice" will be performed as part of the 14th Annual St. James Tavern Theatre Shorts Festival.

The festival occurs every year on the night of the Columbus, Ohio Independence Day celebration Red, White, and Boom. Every play, 2-5 minutes in length, is set at a bar, and because the venues do not have a dedicated stage, the plays are performed at different spots throughout the bar.

This year's theme is "Drunken Americana (Norman Rockwell is Drunk Again)." My play is about a writer who takes to a heart a quote to attributed to Ernest Hemingway (and other writers): "Write drunk. Edit sober." There's no evidence that Hemingway ever said that, but my character still thinks it's sound practice.

I'm thrilled to be a part of the festival. I like the setup. It's quirky, it's different, and it creates a cool, different theater vibe that can't be created in a traditional dramatic space. 

And the plays are a lot of fun. Even with the built-in parameters and challenges of the location and the theme, the casts and crews find creative ways to perform a wide range of stories. I'm always impressed with what they are able to pull off.

The festival has three nights at three Columbus bars: July 3 at the St. James Tavern, 1057 N. Fourth St.; July 5 at Endeavor Brewing & Spirits, 909 W. Fifth Ave.; and July 6 at Spires Social Brewing Co., 8757 Sancus Boulevard.

Admission is free, but attendees are encouraged to support the establishments that host the event. Stay tuned for more details.

Two Evil Eyes

Conceived as anthology in tribute of Edgar Allan Poe, Two Evil Eyes features two one-hour stories: "The Facts of the Case of Mr. Valdemar" adapted by George Romero and "The Black Cat" adapted by Dario Argento. Reportedly, John Carpenter and Stephen King were originally supposed to have their own segments, but scheduling and budget concerns put the kibosh on that arrangement (What would that movie have been called? Four Lethal Limbs?)

In Romero's tale, a dying millionaire (Bingo O'Malley) is hypnotized by his wife (Adrienne Barbeau) and her doctor lover (Ramy Zada) into signing away his fortune, but he dies before everything falls into place. However, his spirit remains trapped in his corpse. 

The original Poe story is a neat little piece but doesn't offer much beyond a man kept alive beyond death under hypnosis, a scientific experiment that turns terrifying for a quick shock ending. Romero expands the tale with its adultery and embezzlement subplot, and he hits on a few of his favorite themes, namely the corrupting power of materialism and capitalism. 

Memoirs of an Invisible Man

Stock analyst Nick Halloway (Chevy Chase) is rendered invisible by an industrial accident. Hunted by CIA operative David Jenkins (Sam Neill), who wants to use him as an assassin, Nick goes on the run, even finding time to romance Alice (Daryl Hannah), but being invisible is much more difficult than he could have imagined.

What's the biggest red flag hanging over Memoirs of an Invisible Man? John Carpenter, who put his name in the title of every movie he directed from Halloween on, declined to do so here.

H.F. Saint's novel, which the movie is based on, thoughtfully explored its premise and went places previous invisible man stories had not gone. Most intriguingly, the novel showed how disconnected and alienating modern life could be; in the wheeling and dealing world of high finance, an invisible man could slide in and make a fortune without anyone ever seeing him, but he would most crave human companionship.

The movie contains some of that, but overall, it is an uninspired, low-energy enterprise. The movie can't decide if it wants to be funny or serious, and as a result, it's neither.

More than zombies: 'Raising the Dead' by Adam Charles Hart

George Romero remains one of my favorite filmmakers. The director of Night of the Living Dead, which created the modern zombie movie, he created a lasting filmography of genuine horror classics that the blended scares with intelligent social commentary and satire.

But following his career was always frustrating. Fiercely independent and deeply uncomfortable with Hollywood, he often struggled to raise financing for the movies he wanted to make. Despite announcements for a number of different projects - both horror and non-horror - by the end of his career, he was more or less consigned to zombie movies, and his final three movies -Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, and Survival of the Dead - divided fans, to say the least.

I've long been disappointed by this turn of events, feeling Romero didn't have the career he deserved and that the world missed out on some genuine classics from a deserving artist.

The Haunting of Hill House

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson is a landmark novel of the horror genre, a stone-cold classic of unbridled psychological dread and tension. It has been adapted as a movie twice and even as a play (I acted in a production of it back in 2019. I played Dr. Montague. Don't ask how my beard looked.)

Director Mike Flanagan adapts the novel for Netflix as a ten-part television series, each episode between 50 and 60 minutes long. It's not a faithful adaptation; the book by itself would not be enough fill out such a length. Instead, Flanagan takes the themes, characters, and plot devices and re-contextualizes into an expanded narrative.

The results are outstanding. I don't consider myself a binge watcher, but I completed the series in about a day and a half. Flanagan has shown promise as a filmmaker, and here, he creates his best work to-date. It's strongly acted and smartly written, with enough scares and drama to be one of horror's most compelling television works in recent years.

Kwaidan

Four tales of ghosts and spirits. In "The Black Hair," a penniless swordsman divorces his loving wife to marry into a rich family but eventually longs for his former life. "The Woman in the Snow" concerns a woodcutter whose life is spared by a forest spirit as long as he never tells anyone what he saw. "Hoachi the Earless" is about a blind musician who sings of a great battle, and his favorite audience is comprised of ghosts. The final tale, "In a Cup of Tea," follows a writer who relates the story of a nobleman's attendant who sees a strange man's face in a cup of tea.

Set in feudal Japan, Kwaidan is a horror anthology produced in 1964, and yet, it remains timeless and effective, surreal and haunting, horrifying and strangely beautiful, drawing on Japanese folklore to create its tales.

Tales from the Hood

At the Simms Funeral Home, three teenage gang members show up to buy drugs the mortuary's strange owner (Clarence Williams III) claims to have. As he leads them through the building, he relates four tales about his most recent "customers."

"Rogue Cop Revelation" - A black, rookie cop named Clarence (Anthony Griffith) witnesses three white officers beat, frame, and murder black city councilman Martin Moorehouse (Tom Wright) for going after crooked police officers who've been dealing drugs in the community. A year later, Clarence is a drunk and off the force when he hears the voice of Moorehouse, who commands Clarence to bring the murderers to him.

"Boys Do Get Bruised" - Young Walter (Brandon Hammond) begins at a new school where his kindly teacher Mr. Garvy (Rusty Cundieff) notices bruises on the boy. When asked, Walter claims the monster in his house caused them. He even drew a picture of the monster, believing if he destroys the picture, he'll destroy the monster.

"KKK Comeuppance" - Gubernatorial candidate Duke Metger (Corbin Bernsen) sets up his campaign in a former plantation mansion where a Confederate general murdered his slaves rather than free them. Metger, a former Klansman, ignores warnings that the souls of the murdered slaves now haunt the mansion in Hoodoo dolls, and they will not rest until they receive reparations.

"Hard-Core Convict" - Violent gang leader Crazy K (Lamont Bentley) survives being shot but is arrested and sentenced to life in prison. Dr. Cushing (Rosalind Cash) offers him redemption if he agrees to undergo behavior modification treatment. Plunged into darkness, he is confronted by the ghosts of the people he's killed.